I often hear people speak about how proud they are to be an American. Well I’m humbled to be an American. I’m humbled to be a mother and wife. I am humbled to be able to write and have others read my words. Too often we get so caught up in our pride that we [...]]]>

I often hear people speak about how proud they are to be an American. Well I’m humbled to be an American. I’m humbled to be a mother and wife. I am humbled to be able to write and have others read my words. Too often we get so caught up in our pride that we forget to appreciate what we have and be humbled by it.

Only in America does a woman such as myself have the freedom to chose to be a stay at home mom or have a career or both. Only in this amazing Nation do I have a voice that is equal to all others. When I put my pride down long enough to truly look at where I live I am HUMBLED. Humbled by the prosperity and liberty of this nation. Humbled that so many people of different mindset and beliefs can work side by side. Humbled that I can blog my thoughts and others feel they are worthy of reading.

I have been heard often saying I am a proud Army mom. But again when I put my pride aside I become humbled to be a part of such a honorable group. I am humbled that in return for my son’s service I was embraced by some of the most caring and honorable men and women in the world. I humbled that they call me one of their own. It rocks me to the core to realize that just by reaching out in my love for my son I was embraced. Truly humbling is that these men and women, who serve our Nation in the military, do not know me personally or you personally yet they put their lives on the line daily to protect our rights and freedoms. Stop and think about that.. be humbled that perfect strangers are willing to do this for you.

I am humbled to have been blessed with children who will have opportunities that other young people in the world will never have. They were give the chance to get an education that offered them the tools to grow and become who they are. Education is a tool that every single American is given and how you use that tool, what you put into determines what you will take from it. It is humbling that we are all given this precious tool. It is sad so many are so proud they forget to invest themselves in it.

I am humbled that jobs are available. Oh it may not pay as much as you want or you may not like your job but the work is there. It is humbling that we have the means to provide for ourselves. It is humbling to know that the harder I am willing to work the more benefits I will get.

I’m humbled to know that is my family becomes ill that I can seek out medical care for them. Yes there is the hassle of insurance paperwork and a bill will have to be paid but the care is there. Medication is a few blocks away. I don’t have sit by helpless watching those I love sick or suffering. It’s humbling to know that help is available. Even to those who will struggle to pay the bill for it.

I’m humbled to have a government that I have a voice in. I don’t like a lot of the things my government does but where else in the world can I speak out in dismay and not fear questioning my government. I can vote. I have a say. I may be out numbered by my fellow Americans in that vote but in the end I got my say. Not only that I can call my representatives and voice verbally to them how I feel about the job they are doing. It’s humbling to realize my representatives are a phone call or fax away.

Yes I am humbled to be an American. For when we allow pride to guide us we do not appreciate the true blessing of what we have. We forget to tend it, care for it and protect it… and then we begin to take it for granted. All our freedoms, all our liberties, all our blessings are lost to greed, envy and gluttony when we are not humbled by them. We become lazy in our vigilance of these blessings and fall to false values.

Today do not be a proud American .. be a humble one.

The holidays are here and with them my moments of deep sadness and great joy. I guess in a way I am grateful for the sadness because it means my love for Micheal is still alive and that for too short of time I was blessed to have him in my life. I tell [...]]]>

The holidays are here and with them my moments of deep sadness and great joy. I guess in a way I am grateful for the sadness because it means my love for Micheal is still alive and that for too short of time I was blessed to have him in my life. I tell his friends “Don’t Cry because its over Smile because it happened” Well I am doing both.. I smile because my son’s life happened and it touched so many lives… but I cry because it was over too soon.

This will be our fifth Thanksgiving with an empty seat at our table.

The first one Micheal was in Iraq. I remember he told me that he had not even realized it was Thanksgiving day until someone had said something on the radio. They had been on a mission. He also said it had been a “very bad day” and he would tell me about it when he got home. I never did find out what had happened that day.

I truly try to “count my blessings” this time of year. Not that I am not grateful every day for the many blessings in my life. Even with the pain and emptiness of losing Micheal we have things and people to be grateful for. I could list the people who have come into our lives but I fear two things if I try to do that… one; I will leave someone out and two; this blog post would reach about 30,000 words. So I shall keep in some what general….

I am grateful for my family who came together to hold each other up. We have each had our dark days and we have each leaned on each other to share the strength of our family.

I am grateful for all those who serve. whether I have met them our not they are my family. Those who knew my son (if even only on that fateful day in those final moments) who have embraced us and allowed us to become their friends and remain in their lives mean so much more than word can express to me. They have truly keep me sane and given me some purpose. They have taught me that as long as I can care for those who serve I am honoring my son in the most important way Our Fallen can be honored.

I am grateful to those people in Iraq and Afghanistan who have taken up the fight on their own behalf and denounced the evil done in the name of their faith. They prove to me that my son did not die for not. That he helped plant the seeds of hope and freedom and encouraged those people to fight for the freedom so many here in the US take for granted.

I am grateful for all the arguing and bickering here in the US because it proves we are still free and can disagree without fear of being hung by our government.

Well going to spend time with my family [...]]]> Last Wednesday I headed to Indiana for my sister’s wedding. She was a beautiful bride and I even like my new brother in law even if he is not a Packers fan. Spent time with my family and had a very good time.

Well going to spend time with my family put me about 3 hours from my “combat family” at Ft. Campbell. So Monday I made the drive. I meet my dear friend Kelli ( who admits she thought I was insane the first time she talked to me on the phone) at the front gate and we drove to the Company my son had served in. I should have known something was up when she took my camera as we walked into the building. There is sat… the sign I had waited so long to touch. It had been hand made in Iraq and placed on the barracks to honor my son. It found its way back to the US when the FOB was dismantled to Ft. Riley. After several phone calls and a few emails to a CSM it finally made its way to where it belongs…. Bravo Company 1-502nd. I have wanted to touch this sign since Easter of 2008.

I took a few minutes to trace each letter with my fingers and feel the roughness of the wood. I asked for a sharpie marker and wrote a message to my son on the back. It was at point I realized several men were watching me. I looked up to find Sgt. Reese who had served with my son and one of the few left of his team at the Company, the Company Commander, the Company First Sgt. , the Battalion Command Sgt. Major and Battalion Commander. Quite the reception and I was touched and honored that these very busy men would take a moment for me.

I was told about the new Wall of Honor the Company was creating with pictures of all of our Fallen and how above the lockers where everyone would see it every day the sign from the FOB in Iraq would be hung. I had hoped a barracks at Ft. Campbell would be named for my son but I am content that the sign is home in the Company.

So the last step has been made… the sign is home where it belongs and I have gotten my moment with it. I should feel closer but some how I feel like I am missing something in this. But as I have learned… the answers come when I am ready for them.

On the morning of 9-11-2001 I woke up to “The World Trade Center got hit by a Plane.” I stopped to watch a minute or two of the news then went on to make breakfast and get my kids off to school… shortly after they were gone I laid down with my husband to [...]]]>

On the morning of 9-11-2001 I woke up to “The World Trade Center got hit by a Plane.” I stopped to watch a minute or two of the news then went on to make breakfast and get my kids off to school… shortly after they were gone I laid down with my husband to watch the news coverage. “Was it on purpose or an accident?” The second plane hit as soon as I asked the question. We sat stunned for a minute… “That answers that question.” “We’re at war. This is our generations Pearl Harbor”

My husband had just come home from a 12 hr shift at work so he soon had to sleep. I spent the day watching the coverage…fighting every motherly urge I had to go get my kids and hold them close to me. I would go out and update the ladies who worked in the school cafeteria throughout the day. (we lived across the street from the school back then)

The images the media showed that day will haunt me for the rest of my life. My kids would come home one by one that afternoon. The youngest was home all day with me then but he was too young to comprehend why mom was sitting on the edge of the couch with tears streaming down her face. My daughter came home first… she hugged me and went to play. Only in 2nd grade she understood something bad had happened but she would not feel the impact on her own life that day. David and Micheal came home next. They were pissed and demanded to know “Who did it? Are we gonna kill them back?” Micheal whispered the word that I would later understand was his turning point in life. “Bullies” I think he made up his mind then he would join the military. Over the next few years he would consider other paths but in the end.. he had “Go stop the bullies.”

Every year as we remember 9-11 and those who perished that day, Gold Star families across our nations have similar stories to my own… it was a day that years later would change their lives in a very personal and most painful way.

Our sons and daughters would go off to fight this enemy who attacked us that September morning. And as we remember that day there comes moments when our pain becomes so overwhelming we cannot take part in the memorials and tributes so many present. It’s not that we don’t care.. we just hurt too much.

We mourn for the 2,973 men and women killed in the attacks that day and also for the 6026 men and women who have died to keep another such attack from happening to the US again.

Every once in awhile someone will mention something in passing and it will set me off on one of my “missions”.

Recently while talking to one of the most amazing Marine wives I know she mentioned that a recently widowed lady asked that only an “Official DoD photograph” be taken of her husband’s return to [...]]]>

Every once in awhile someone will mention something in passing and it will set me off on one of my “missions”.

Recently while talking to one of the most amazing Marine wives I know she mentioned that a recently widowed lady asked that only an “Official DoD photograph” be taken of her husband’s return to Dover. Well this got me thinking.. Is there an “Official DoD Photograph” of my son’s return? And if so how do I get a copy? Not sure why this became a mission but it did… So I emailed Dover… within hours I received a response.

Ms. Phillips,

I regret to inform you that no images of your son’s return exists.

Department of Defense policy forbade official photography of the Fallen from late 2003 to April 2009.

V/r

I’m disappointed. I knew about media being barred from Dover but I didn’t realize there was no documentation at all of the return of some of our Fallen. I’m disappointed that there is no photo but at the same time a part of me knows that Dover was not for the family.

To me Dover is about our Fallen coming home to their military family. It is the place the military basically says goodbye to them. They care for them one last time before they taken them home to their families.

I found out shortly after Micheal was killed that everyone who works are Dover AFB mortuary service are volunteers. They ASK for the honor of taking care of these men.. of cleaning them and tailor making their uniforms.. of making sure every ribbon is perfect. The comb their hair.. manicure their nails.. cleaning their personal affects and make sure they are honored to the fullest extent of the military. And they ask for this job.

I wish I could personally thank every man and woman who works with Dover AFB Mortuary Team. They are amazing people who do duty that is more important than words can express. They bring a comfort to the families that sometimes even the families do not understand.

I think this mission of mine has served as a reminder that sometimes we should be grateful for people and the job they do.

On Feb 24th 2008 two men in Class A Army uniforms knocked on my door.. my son David called me to tell me they were there, I had been [...]]]>

And they who for their country die shall fill an honored grave, for glory lights the soldier's tomb, and beauty weeps the brave. ~Joseph Drake

On Feb 24th 2008 two men in Class A Army uniforms knocked on my door.. my son David called me to tell me they were there, I had been shopping… so I walked into my living room knowing my oldest son Micheal had been killed while serving in Iraq. And yet those two men still uttered those Ugly words. “We regret to inform you”.. since then many people have told me my son is a hero, and he is. But I often wonder why he had to die for people to see he was a hero. You see to me he became a hero on Sept 24th 2005 when he walked into the US Army recruiting office and signed that check up to and including his life to defend this nation.

Every young man and woman who serves is a hero.. there are many heroes out there who have served. I implore you men and women who have served, You heroes, to share your stories with our young people. Keep the memories of those we have lost alive through those stories. Keep the history you lived alive so maybe future generation won’t make the same mistakes we have. Tell the stories of your sacrifices and heroism so that this nation can truly be grateful for the sacrifices made in defense of all the freedoms this Nation holds for us.

I would like everyone to take a moment to look upon the flag and all it represents.. Each time you look at this flag remember; “The American Flag does not fly by the wind, but by the last breath of the fallen soldiers that died to protect our country.” This weekend as people gather to BBQ and laugh and spend time together. Some will take a moment to remember our Fallen.. but we must do more than just remember them. We must honor them.

A few weeks after my son was killed an SSgt at the recruiting station and I were talking… we had been friends for some time and he was very close to my son. He said ‘this is so hard… I don’t know how you do it’… then he was quiet looked at the ground and then looked back at me and said “it’s easier over there… you have a mission to focus on over there.” He doesn’t know it but that conversation probably saved my life. I realized in that moment I had to have a mission. My mission became to take care of my son’s brothers. And by doing so I honor my son. I could no longer take care of my son and he could no longer take care of the men he served with. The ones he fought for, the man to the left, the man to the right, so to honor my son it became my mission to take care of his brothers in arms the best I could. In doing so I have gained many blessings.. So many of our nation’s best have embraced me as family and become such important parts of my life. Even from curses come blessings if we are willing to look for them and my soldier sons have been a blessing. I nearly passed that blessing by until someone helped me find my mission to honor my son and all those who have fallen.

We best honor our fallen by taking care of those who come home… especially our wounded. So I ask you to honor those who have Fallen every day by taking care of those who come home… and those still serving.
One last note.. I do not know the author to credit but I felt I needed to say this to our fallen…

You shall never be forgotten
for though you may be gone from this
world your spirit will live forever
It lives in the laughing eyes of children
who are free from want and oppression
It lives in the bravery and conviction
of those who still struggle for liberty
and it lives in me for I promise
to cherish every breath of freedom
that you paid the ultimate price to secure
I ask only that I might be granted some
small fraction of your courage and strength
to face the challenges of my life with an
honor and dignity worthy of your legacy
May you rest in eternal peace
safe in the knowledge that your sacrifice
was not in vain

To all you who have served.. to all you who do serve.. thank you and take luck.

From the Warfront to the Homefront Foundation Inc. presents May 22nd [...]]]> There is no cost and no where to have to be. It takes a moment in your day to stop.. remember those who have given their lives for your freedoms and light a candle to keep their bright memories alive and glowing.

From the Warfront to the Homefront Foundation Inc. presents
May 22nd Candle Lighting Service For ALL Fallen
U.S Soldiers
From the Warfront to the Homefront Foundation Inc., a registered
501(c)(3) tax-exempt charitable organization, is asking citizens
across this country to light a candle in memory of every U.S. soldier
throughout this countrys’ who has made the “ULTIMATE SACRIFICE” in
either peacetime or times of conflict.
This very solemn event will take place on
Sunday May 22nd,2011
7:00 to 8:00p.m.
ANYWHERE and EVERYWHERE across this country.
You can light a candle in your home, park, community etc.
You can do this alone, with family, neighbors or co-workers.
If you like, folks can read the names of the fallen from their
communities, read poems, have musical selections as long as it
relevant to paying tribute to the fallen.
We are asking individuals to take photos of these services
and email them to Mark. Bruh @gmail.com and/or Emily Toro
goldielox59@aol.com
www.warfront2homefrontfoundation.org

Dear Mr. Hallmark card maker

I am writing to you from heaven, and though it must appear

A rather strange idea, I see everything from here.

I just popped in to visit, your stores to find a card

A card of love for my mother, as this day for her is hard.

There must be some mistake I thought, every [...]]]>

Dear Mr. Hallmark card maker

I am writing to you from heaven, and though it must appear

A rather strange idea, I see everything from here.

I just popped in to visit, your stores to find a card

A card of love for my mother, as this day for her is hard.

There must be some mistake I thought, every card you could imagine

Except I could not find a card, from a child who lives in heaven.

She is still a mother too, no matter where I reside

I had to leave, she understands, but oh the tears she’s cried.

I thought that if I wrote you, that you would come to know

that though I live in heaven now, I still love my mother so.

She talks with me, and dreams with me; we still share laughter too,

Memories our way of speaking now, would you see what you could do?

My mother carries me in her heart, her tears she hides from sight.

She writes poems to honor me, sometimes far into the night

She plants flowers in my garden, there my living memory dwells

She writes to other grieving parents, trying to ease their pain as well.

So you see Mr. Hallmark, though I no longer live on earth

I must find a way, to remind her of her wondrous worth

She needs to be honored, and remembered too

Just as the children of earth will do.

Thank you Mr. Hallmark, I know you’ll do your best

I have done all I can do; to you I’ll leave the rest.

Find a way to tell her, how much she means to me

Until I can do it for myself, when she joins me in eternity.

~ by Jody Seilheimer ~

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