I am wearing a pair of shoes. They are ugly shoes. Uncomfortable Shoes. I hate my shoes. Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair. Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step. Yet, I continue to wear them. I get [...]]]> “An Ugly Pair of Shoes”

I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable Shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in the world.
Some women are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don’t hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by
before they think of how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of the shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

Author Unknown

I started quite the rant earlier this evening about how Pres. Obama [...]]]> Memorial Day is next Monday. It is a day to remember and honor those who have given the ultimate sacrifice in service of this nation. It is tradition that a wreath is laid at the memorial in Arlington each year .

I started quite the rant earlier this evening about how Pres. Obama is not going to be laying the wreath at Arlington on Memorial Day so he can go to Chicago and have a vacation.

I was infuriated when I read Pres. Obama was going to a family get together rather than Honor our Fallen as Commander and Chief. My first thought was “unforgivable”. Now I know he will not be the first President to not attend the wreath laying. But others had reasons that were not “vacations”. Then I thought about Pres. Obama’s treatment of our troops and it occurred to me that if he does lay the wreath it will be play acting as he has no gratitude for those who it is laid in Honor of. It would be fake and I don’t want that wreath laid for my son and his brothers and sisters by someone who so obviously despises everything my son stood for and died for.

Pres. Obama’s loathing of our troops has been evident from the very beginning of his presidency when he was the First President to skip the Inauguration night ball Honoring Medal of Honor Recipients in over 50 years. Then there was his punishment of Gen. Stanly McChyrstal for publicly outing the fact he had ignored our Military commanders request for more troops in Afghanistan by making them wait months for an answer which was simple. That cost more lives than we probably know. Then there is the treasonous Rules of Engagement imposed on our troops.

It would be the greats Honor of my life to lay that wreath. I would be humbled to simply attend the service. But you see I love those men. I may not know their names but I know them. They are my son’s brothers and they stood and died for the same Love of Nation he did.

Enjoy your vacation Mr. President. Someday I hope you realize you are free to do so because of the men you refuse to honor.In the meantime I am glad someone with an ounce of respect for our troops is laying the Wreath at Arlington this Memorial Day.

THANK YOU to those who lay in peace now..  Thank you so very much my dear sons and daughters

When walking through the WW II Memorial, I came across this view of Lincoln's Memorial, with the Truman quote on the wall of the WW II Memorial--reminded me of why I [...]]]> My friend Jim Moore took and shared this picture. I felt it was very powerful and wanted to share it also. Thank you Jim…

When walking through the WW II Memorial, I came across this view of Lincoln's Memorial, with the Truman quote on the wall of the WW II Memorial--reminded me of why I work for VA. In Lincoln's words, "..to care for him who shall have borne the battle." ~ Jim Moore

In November of 2008 when my son’s brothers came home from Iraq I wrote this

“As we drove on Veteran’s Day I thought about how lucky the people in this country are to have the men and women of our military. Between it being Veterans [...]]]> ( I know I promised kittens but this was much more important)

In November of 2008 when my son’s brothers came home from Iraq I wrote this

“As we drove on Veteran’s Day I thought about how lucky the people in this country are to have the men and women of our military. Between it being Veterans day and where we were heading I had no choice but to see things from a perspective most Americans fail to look at. We drove without fear of IEDs. There were no check points. We could stop along the way and not fear snipers or suicide bombers. When we were hungry we had a multitude of options. And I knew without a doubt that these freedoms and this security are due fully to the fact we have such an outstanding group of people who made the choice to wear the uniform and defend these things.” http://knottiesniche.com/2008/11/16/theyre-home/

This past Saturday there was an attempted car bombing in New York. If they had succeeded the results would have been devastating.  This is not the first attempt to set off a bomb in the US. There was the Underwear bomber last December. There was an attempt in Dallas last fall.  There have been 2 shootings I know of that have cost lives carried out on US soil in the name of jihad in the past year. The Little Rock recruiting station shooting cost Pvt. Long his life. And 13 members of our military fell victim at Ft Hood last fall.

“Federal authorities arrested a U.S. citizen of Pakistani descent Monday night on New York’s Long Island in connection with the attempted Times Square car bombing, Fox News has learned.
The man was identified as Shahzad Faisal of Connecticut.”  He was a naturalized citizen..not home grown as some may say. He was what some call a sleeper cell.

Tomorrow the DHS will say the system worked because he was arrested. The TSA stopped him trying to leave the country.  But that is a lie. If the system had worked he would have been stopped returning from his recent trip to Pakistan and the bomb he failed to detonate properly would never have been parked in Times Square.  The system failed once again…  inept terrorists are not a success of our National Security system.  How long before one of these “unsophisticated” terrorist get lucky and manage to detonate their bomb?

I can no longer have the mind set I had in November of 2008. I can no longer feel secure that the war is not on our shores because our military has kept it contained. I don’t blame the military for this. I understand that their ability to do their job has been very limited in the past year. I also understand that in the name of diplomacy that our government has emboldened our enemy. I know also that the American public at large is so oblivious to the reality of the threat against our nation they do not demand that actions be taken to better protect us and stop our enemy.

It’s a sad day when we in the US have to start worrying about car bombs, suicide bombers, IEDs, and EFPs . It’s a sad thing that so many other countries already do but I never thought I would see the day that the US became so weak that we would allow an enemy this much free reign in on our own soil.

At what point do we  as a nation realize this is no longer a war being fought “over there”?

It has been over 2 years since I have heard your voice ( not on video) and over  2 years since I last hugged you. I know in my heart you knew you were loved. I hope you knew how proud of you I was and am. But I don’t think you ever realized [...]]]> Dear Micheal

It has been over 2 years since I have heard your voice ( not on video) and over  2 years since I last hugged you. I know in my heart you knew you were loved. I hope you knew how proud of you I was and am. But I don’t think you ever realized how much a part of our lives you were. What a huge gaping hole losing you has left in the fabric of our lives.

I watch David wondering through life waiting for it to happen and know that you would have been the one he would have listened to. We can tell him over and over again he has to make it happen but it would have been you that made him stop waiting and start doing.. He has no clue what blessings he has. And he can’t see them through his grief. You would have rubbed his nose in them till he did. No one else was or is able to do that the way you could.

I see Anthony growing up without you to take him on outings like you use to and know he is missing out on the many things you would have taught him. He still forgets sometimes and asks about you. When you will be home and if you are still fighting bad guys. Then he remembers…  I still remember the day right before you deployed when he asked me to call the Army and tell them to fire you so you didn’t have to go to Iraq. I wish I had… His lizard died a few months back. He acted like it didn’t bother him but he buried it in the backyard next to the cross there in your memory. He asked if the lizard was your pet now. I know you hate reptiles but deal with it till he comes to take over ok?

I see Bob growing up and becoming a young woman and know that in some small part of her heart and mind she compares boys to you. Or at least wonders if you would approve. Oh and there have been boys I wanted to call you and ask you to come scare off. Something about a big brother who is accurate with a weapon that makes the boys behave or go away. A few of your platoon mates have sort of tried to fill in there though. She doesn’t talk about you much. I think maybe she is still in some denial.  I know she misses you terribly.

I see your Dad hurting and blaming himself because his generation didn’t fix the world, as if they could. He wanted you to have a better life.. that is all a parent ever wants for their kids. And I think part of him is just so damned angry that you didn’t even really get a chance to live. I know I am.

I see your friends getting married and starting families and I am happy for them but a part of me is mad as hell you didn’t get to do those things.

Then I see the kids who are never going to do anything but be a burden on society. Roaming the streets and getting arrested and I wonder why such a waste lives and you died.

In some ways you are still touching our lives. Inspiring me to write about it all so others can maybe have a little more compassion and understanding. Or maybe another family can see that they are not alone and although there is no right way or checklist for this we all have similar emotions and challenges. You inspired me to reach out to your brothers in arms also. One of the letters from the command in Iraq said their first thought was that if it had been anyone else but you, you would have been the one to rally everyone and boost morale. And that in a way you did just that when the guys sat and shared the stories of you antics. Every time I find out a new detail or hear a new story I am inspired by you.

I know you had so many dreams and plans. And I know you would have done it all.

You are so missed…
I love you
Mom