Flowers For Our Child

While many are out looking for that perfect gift for their kid, that they think they can’t live without. I get to buy some fake flowers for my kid, that I’m having to live without. ~ Gold Star Mother Judy G Vincent

I read this early this evening. It’s true. As a society we are running around spending money we don’t have to buy the gift our children “can’t live without” while some of us are living without our child.

Not many talk about the empty chair at our tables. Or the empty stocking hung for our children. We quietly go buy a wreath and flowers and taken them to the cemetery and take a few moments to let the wave of grief and sadness fully engulf us. Then we stand up, dust off our knees, wipe away the tears and go on about our lives. We smile and say “Merry Christmas”. We wrap gifts for those we love. We bake Christmas cookies and we hide the hurt and emptiness.

No one sees this part of our journey because we know it makes people uncomfortable so we hid this part. We hold in the tears when we are shopping for others and for one moment forget and find that “perfect gift” and then remember he is gone. We swallow the lump in our throats when the “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” plays over the store speakers. We watch young families with their children and remember Christmas’ past and hope those young families are wise enough to cherish every memory they are creating.

We truly want people have a Merry Christmas when we say it to them. We want others to create memories and have joy. We aren’t so selfish as to want anyone else to have this pain. That is why we keep this part invisible from most. Why we hold in the tears and swallow the lumps in our throats. I only write this to help others understand that if there is not a sparkle in our eyes and if we seem a little too quiet or if you see us watching you with your children it’s because we are thinking about the flower we have bought our child.

2 Responses to Flowers For Our Child

  1. Leo Pusateri November 29, 2012 at 9:17 pm #

    So poignant and beautifully written…

    I am truly grateful, and I thank you for your son’s and your family’s sacrifices..

    I pledge to make a conscious effort never to forget, whether it be during this season, or any time of year.

  2. Carey Neesley November 29, 2012 at 10:51 pm #

    We all struggle with the holidays and try not to be grinches. But not only is there a empty chair and stocking…it was also the morning he died. It is so hard to fake that smile and say Merry Christmas. Because mine will never b whole again. I try hard to control my envy of families who live in ignorant bliss. But I always hope inside they are treasuring the moments that we would give our lives for. One more Christmas with our loved one. One more day, hour even minute. Christmas music makes me suck to my stomach. The decorations and lights and sappy movies. The way the air feels and smells… Will always take me back to that horrible Chritmas morning of 2007. When I lost one if the most important people in my life. I actually punched my fist through the pain of the glass on our front door last Xmas eve. The pain was to much. I did done pretty serious damage and now have another dreadful scar. Reflecting what my heart must look like on the inside. All I can say I’d try to keep ur head up and know our boys wouldn’t want us to hate Christmas. Easier said then done. XO

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